Hi! I’m Jen.* I’m 30. Sometimes I wear disguises and meet unicorns from the Internet in order to engage in anonymous, torrid love affairs with them. My God, it feels so good to finally say that out loud.

I always thought that becoming the crazy pet lady who lives in a tiny apartment and drinks tea all day would be awesome. Thus far, I have not been disappointed.

I edit for a living. I frequently eschew pants. I think portmanteaus are sexy. If you didn’t know what “portmanteau” meant but you just looked it up, I think that YOU are sexy. I swear a lot. I read a lot of poetry. I never leave the house without my Kindle. When I do leave, I’m usually headed for the library or the rink. I play roller derby. I don’t eat meat. I try to live well. I’m still figuring out exactly what that means. Sometimes it helps me to think out loud. I think that’s probably why I’m here.

*Jen is my given name, though I have previously blogged under other names that shall not be mentioned on this site or in reference to this site, by me or anyone else. (How can I put this in a way that’s Google-proof? Ease-play o-day our-yay art-pay o-tay elp-hay e-may avoid-hay y-may alker-stay. anks-Thay!)